Basketball 3/15

After a day of watching March Madness, I felt the itch to go launch a couple buzzer beaters at the gym. When I got there, a guy named JP and his cronies were playing. Rumor has it JP played at Iowa for a couple of years. He seems to be the most popular guy at the gym, chumming it up with everyone while he’s waiting to play. But when he gets in the game, he turns into everyone’s enemy. He’s pretty athletic so he can get a lot of rebounds and cross you over. It’s when it comes to calling fouls, he becomes the absolute worst person alive. It’s one thing to call a lot of fouls because you missed your shot. It’s another thing to argue everyone else’s foul calls and hold up the game. And because JP has this cult of personality surrounding him, his cronies chime in and amplify the arguing two and threefold. JP wins 80-90% of his foul arguments solely because the other person gives up while JP is still arguing. So JP gets a ton of calls.

As soon as I walk into the gym, there’s an argument going on. I slump to the ground and put my shoes on, disappointed because I thought it’d be a light crowd today. JP’s team successfully argues against another guy’s foul call and gets the ball on their end. Eventually the score runs up to 10-9 favoring JP’s team. We play to 11 in this gym and you don’t have to win by 2. The other team (I’ll refer to them as Heroes) have the ball and have played a great game as far as I can tell. A guy on Heroes makes a nice move and hits a 3 pointer. The Heroes have won the game and crushed JP and his cronies! Wait, what’s this? JP is calling an illegal screen and says the point must be replayed?? One of his cronies is demonstrating how the screener wildly swung his elbows (he didn’t). I have never seen an illegal screen call in all of my pick up basketball days. And somehow, JP successfully argues this call and they have to replay the point.

My faith in humanity is restored when a different guy on Heroes ends up hitting an incontestable 3 pointer. Half of the guys on the sideline, including myself, break out into applause at JP’s defeat. JP walks over to the ground and starts texting like he doesn’t even care. One of his cronies is trying to argue about a “rough box-out” but no one is listening.

When I finally stepped on the court, I got the distinct feeling that my team hated me. I was easily the 10th most athletic guy on the court at the time and was seen as a liability. I miss my only shot of the 1st game. Anytime the guy I’m guarding gets a rebound, a blond haired guy on my team will passive-aggressively suggest “We need to box out more!” I get the hint but am too unathletic to do anything about it. In the 2nd game, I beg for the ball down low and get it. When my sweet baby hook goes in, my team congratulates me like they’re surprised at the result. I am insulted and don’t get the ball for the rest of the game. I don’t think my teammates liked me much.

Poker Tourney recap 2/28

Oh man, that was exhilarating. I had been envisioning this tournament for the past month. Waking up in cold sweats because I overplayed middle pair after the flop. Finally, the day had arrived.

I got there an hour early to register and relax. I walked around, drank a coffee to warm up, and just tried to get in the mindset to play. One of the dealers walking by razzed me about my mesh shorts and how I was more ready to play a basketball game than a poker tournament. I shouted something about comfort being king but I trailed off as I realized he wasn’t stopping to listen.

They were hosting the tourney inside the concert venue at the Horseshoe. I wanted to get in there early and get comfortable with the surroundings. Only, they said they had to postpone the tournament for an hour with no reason given. I was a little disappointed but decided to go eat at the buffet to kill the time. I made a conscious effort to not overeat (I should probably do this all the time.) because I didn’t want to feel bloated while playing. I saw other players streaming into the venue so I followed them in. I found my table and sat down. Each table had 2 dealers, 1 on each end, and 2 chairs directly across from each other in front of the dealer. At my table, 1 player was already seated but I wasn’t matched up against him. I sat down and felt cold immediately. I put my jacket back on and started counting my chips. The tournament director announces that play is to begin and if there is no one across from you, then blinds will be collected from them every 15 minutes until they run out of chips. Now I had to sit in fear of every person that walked up to our table. Is this guy or girl my opponent? I had no way to know.

At 13 minutes in, an Asian guy in a windbreaker/vest thing walks up to the table and sits across from the other player. Whew, I’m safe! Whoops, looks like he sat across from the wrong guy. The dealer checks his paperwork and sits him across from me. I immediately have a bad feeling in my stomach. It was either the fear of losing round 1 or the pork tamales.

My first hand in, I try to raise it to 300. The dealer politely informs me that since blinds are 100/200, the minimum raise is 400. I feel like a huge dumbass who just revealed to his opponent his lack of tournament experience. I vow to make bigger and more legal raises from here on out.

For being so nervous,  I never trailed in this match. One hand, he raised my big blind and I called with 4-2. The flop came A-3-5 giving me a straight. He continuation bet me and I smooth called in hopes of getting him to bet more next hand. The turn was a 4 and he checked. I decided to bet there to protect my hand and he folded.

In another huge hand, I had 10-6 of hearts in the dealer position. I raised him and he called. The flop came K-9-4 with 2 hearts. He checks and I continuation bet my flush draw. He calls and the turn is a 6. I now have a small pair and a flush draw. He checks and I bet again. He re-raises me. Now, there’s a huge pot and I am not sure where I stand. He hadn’t raised me much before this so I was curious. I called thinking I could win with a heart, 10, or 6. The river was a 2 of diamonds. He checked and I debated raising to try and bluff. I decided to check thinking he would call anyway. He had 7-8 of hearts so he missed both of his draws. My 6 held up and I took a huge pot. If another heart had come, I would’ve won a lot more chips. But if a 10 had come down, I could’ve easily lost a lot more. Lucky hand.

In the final hand, I was dealt pocket Queens in the dealer position. He had just re-raised me from his last big blind and I folded there. I hoped to do the same thing here so I put in a small raise. He re-raised me like last time. I knew I was going all in but I waited a little bit to make it seem like I had to think about it. Finally, I go all in and he calls pretty quick. I’m relieved to see him turn over A-10. I’m a 70% favorite in the hand. None of the cards pair either of us and I have won the match! I shake hands with my opponent and he storms off. The dealer asks if I’m okay because I keep exhaling heavily. I tell him I’m just glad I won and I’m not used to playing people in person. He laughs and said I look like an internet player. I’m not sure how to take that. A tournament official leads me to a table where they assign me my 2nd round table and give me a meal voucher since the next match is in 4 hours.

(4 hours later)

I’m feeling a lot more confident compared to this morning. I know where the tables are, how the venue feels, everything. And I just proved I can hang with these guys by winning my first match. I sit down and count chips. The dealer is very chatty and keeps talking about this beautiful Russian girl who destroyed a guy last round. I try to give clipped answers to minimize the talking but it doesn’t stop him. As the tournament director is announcing the start of the 2nd round, this middle-aged redhead guy walks in and sits down across from me. He looks very tired and he later reveals that he was up all night playing another tournament. I take note to go slower and try to drag things out to take advantage. Like the rope-a-dope strategy, but for unathletic fat guys sitting at a table.

I was down for most of the match. We start at 15,000 chips but I was down between 11 and 13,000 for most of it. He just calls from the dealer position a lot so I get to see a lot of flops for free. I was dealt JJ, 10s, and 9s in 3 consecutive hands. But he folded pre-flop twice to raises, and the 3rd he folded on the flop. No luck for me.

In the 4th hand of the match, I have J-7 in the big blind. He raises me pre-flop and I call. The flop comes J-8-9. I have top pair and a straight draw, so pretty happy about the hand, especially while heads up. I check to him and he raises. I re-raise him about 3,000 more in chips. He thinks about it for a long time (is he falling asleep?) before deciding to go all in. I am shocked. He hadn’t been that aggressive yet and I thought I had a great hand. I think about it a long time before deciding to pick a better spot. I begrudgingly fold. (I asked him about the hand after the match and he said he had 2 pair. If he’s not a liar, then good fold me!)

3/4 of the way through the match, I have 10-7 in the big blind. He limps in from the button and I check. The flop comes J-8-9 giving me a straight! I hoped my sunglasses masked my face when I saw that. I check to him and he raises. I decided to smooth call like the last straight I flopped. The turn is an 8. He immediately says, “I’ll put you all in.” I debate for a split-second as to whether or not he has a full house. But I know I’ve got too good of a hand to fold. I call all-in and flip over my straight. He has a pained look on his face as he turns over his pocket queens! (He limped from the dealer button with a great hand so it showed he could get tricky.) I had to avoid a 10, Q, or 8 to win the hand and I did. I had 8,800 left in chips before the all in so, including the pot, I know had about 19,000 and my first significant chip lead of the match.

That clash must’ve put him on tilt because he started going all in on a bunch of hands. I would minimum raise pre-flop or post-flop and he would come over the top and go all in. I never had anything good enough to call (except A-7 one hand which I debated, but thought he could have had better) so I folded. Those lost raises cost me about 5,000 in chips so I had lost my chip lead to his sudden aggression. I made a point to let him do the raising so I could keep it cheaper for the next few hands.

Finally, I had 10-4 in diamonds in the big blind. He limped in on the button and I checked. The flop is 4-4-3. I’m very happy to see that but I check hoping to re-raise him like he’s been doing. He checks behind me. The turn is a 7. I decide to bet here and he re-raises me. Good, everything’s going according to plan. I think he’s still in his re-raising mode from before and I definitely have the best hand. I go all in and he seems shocked. He starts muttering about how I must’ve made a straight with that 7. He debates for a long time which means he must’ve had something worthwhile. Eventually, he begrudgingly calls. Now, I’m not sure if my hand is best or not. He turns over Q-4 and has me outkicked! I need a 10 on the river to win, or a 3 or 7 to split the pot. I get none of the those and I was busted out of the tournament!

What a tough hand to be dealt heads up. I’m sure if I was a better player I would’ve not gone all in in that spot. I shook his hand, slumped my shoulders, and walked to the concession stand to redeem my voucher for a chicken Caesar wrap.

All in all, I accomplished my goals of winning a match and not completely embarrassing myself. Aside from that very first hand. That was embarrassing.

Basketball 2/27

I knew I needed to get out all this anxiousness regarding the poker tournament tomorrow. What better way then by getting yelled at by 4 men about your shot selection. (I went to play basketball).

I had been rooting for this team to lose because they have a 6-8 Bryant Reeves type player on the court. I know I’ll have to end up guarding him if they win. They do. I try to make small talk before the game with Bryant Reeves.

“Man, I was hoping my first game would be easy.”

(Blank stare, no acknowledgement)

“Good luck.” (My idea of a joke.)

(He walks away)

Bryant Reeves tried to bang in the post. That was the only place on the court I could hang with him. He had a couple jump shots but for the most part I did well against him. A sleepy-eyed, bald, chubby guy on my team demands to guard him 3/4 of the way through the game. His reasoning: “Man, he keeps getting too many rebounds and you playin’ soft.” I don’t argue his point and I guard the tall Asian guy in the corner. We end up winning with our superior point guard play. Sleepy Eyes comes up to me after the game:

“Hey, you gotta put a body on him. That’s it.”

“I tried. He’s 6-8. You gave up rebounds, too.” (I was getting whiny and defensive.)

“Man, I only gave up 1 rebound.”

“Ya, but we were at 9 points.”

He laughs. “true, true!”

The next game I light it up. Our great point guards keep getting me the ball and I can’t miss. (I hadn’t been getting the ball up til’ that point. But after my 1st shot went in, I started to earn court respect.) We end up winning and I get a lot of high-fives and back pats after the game. I always read in to how much acknowledgment I get after the game. Usually, it’s directly correlated to how much I didn’t suck.

In the 3rd game, the tall Asian guy comes back and plays tight defense the whole game. Basically, if anyone athletic guards me and gives half effort throughout the game, I will be shut down. I’m just there to pass and rebound. When it gets to game point both ways, I keep setting picks and then going down to the block to try and hide. Somehow, I get lost in the traffic and the PG gets me the ball. I unathletically bank it in before the Asian guy can swat my shot. Sleepy Eyes screams, “Damn, you coooold bruh!” I get 6-7 high fives after that.

The last game is awful. Bryant Reeves comes back and is angry that he didn’t win the last game. He is swatting shots left and right and hustling down the court. I keep rolling out to the 3 point line and plead for the ball silently. Finally, I get a pass and I try to loft a shot over the fast-approaching giant. My fear of Bryant swatting the shot causes me to release a Joakim Noah-esque jumper that is 2 ft. short of the basket and rolls pathetically out of bounds. I am simultaneously berated by my 4 teammates for my poor shot. I silently vow to put in double effort on defense to make up for that shot but we lose regardless. I hit the showers and Chipotle in that order.

I feel relaxed and tired the evening before the 2nd biggest poker tournament of my life. 1st place will be roughly $80,000 so I’ve tried to practice and prepare to the best of my ability. I didn’t have to pay to enter so I hope that fact keeps me calm tomorrow. We’ll see. More updates to come.

 

Basketball 2/16

I worked late so I couldn’t get to the gym until 8:30pm. It worked out because there’s usually a giant crowd around 5pm. I got there, threw my shoes and protective ankle braces on, and jumped into the game.

I immediately have a good feeling about the game. There’s a very sweaty, fat, and muscular man named Hawk* (or Hulk? I only heard his name once and wasn’t sure) who will be guarding me. Anytime a fat guy guards me, I get really excited. Even though we may be the same size, I can run circles around most guys my level of fat. It’s the power of being a fatlete. He’s probably expecting a game where we jog across half-court and lean on each other while wheezing. That might happen in game 3, but in game 1, I’m sprinting everywhere.

My basketball street cred takes a huge blow at the start of the game when I call a guy out of bounds for dribbling, going out of bounds without touching the ball, and then coming back in bounds and touching the ball. I argued that he can’t be the first person to touch the ball after going out of bounds and, to my surprise, my teammates back me up on this. The opposing team razzes me and threatens to call me for 3 second violations and illegal defense. I know I can’t call a foul for the next 10 minutes unless I want to start a riot.

My premonitions about the game are correct and I run Hawk* (Hulky?) ragged. My teammates keep outlet passing as I leak out after rebounds to get some quick fast break points. After my 4th basket, Hawk* (Herk?) gets in a shouting match with another guy on his team about his lack of defense.

Despite scoring 7 points, including a quasi-athletic fadeaway jumper in Hawk’s* (Stork’s?) face, we lose to a heart breaking 3 pointer from an Asian guy who’s been called Jeremy Lin at least 3 times since we’ve started playing.

After this game, it was all downhill from here. I go approximately 3 for 20 in the next 3 games. I’m shooting so bad that my own teammate exclaims “Wow, he hit one!” after my only successful 3 pointer. I debate making a quip about my hot shooting in the first game but I decide to let it go and focus on defense.

I was pretty sore the next day but that’s the best I’ve felt playing basketball in a while. Let’s hope it’s a good sign for future games. After all, I did start a blog about playing basketball.

 

Poker: 2/8/12

Oh man, another day, another dumb move to start my day off. I sat down and noticed that this was a super loose table. There is a straddle every other hand. (a $5 bet by the first person to act before cards are dealt. Basically, the straddle just gets more action going in the game. I never straddle but I love to exploit it for my benefit.) A friendly Hispanic guy in a Kangol hat straddles. I have 3s-8s and haven’t played very much in the first 45 minutes of the game. I’m in the cutoff seat. 2 people limp in with $5, and I do as well. I’m hoping to make a pre-flop steal because I think the dealer position or Kangol hat is going to re-raise. The dealer seat re-raises to $22. Everyone calls to me. I shove all in for $155, hoping to steal the pot. My hand is terrible, but I didn’t believe that the dealer button had anything. He hems and haws and then asks for a chip count. He decides to call and I weep silently. Everyone else folds and he turns over Q-Q. Thankfully, I don’t have to turn my 3s-8s over unless I win. Which I don’t and I am now down $200 in an hour. Pretty embarrassing, but I bought back in and focused up.

There’s an approximately 50 year old bald guy at the table with a surly demeanor. He is reading The Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway (buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Short-Stories-Ernest-Hemingway/dp/0684843323/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1328922542&sr=8-3). Normally, reading at the table means you’re going to be super passive at the table and obvious in your actions. This guy would just perk up at the table randomly and start throwing chips around. He would also bark, “Ship it!” if he had won a particularly big pot. (A super old guy next to him threw that back in his face. He told him to “Ship it!” when he beat him in a huge pot with quad 5’s. That was quite enjoyable.)

I focused up and started playing better. I had built up a nice stack and made up what I had lost earlier. I limp in with 10-9 in early position. A seemingly bored black guy in a Yankees hat raises to $10. He had bought in for just $50 and hadn’t been paying much attention so I didn’t really respect his playing ability at this point. Everyone folds and I call. Flop comes 10-7-8 rainbow. I check to Yankees hat and he raises $10. I re-raise him to $30 and he calls. The turn is a 4. I push him all in for his last $20 (he had made a little after sitting down). The river is a Q. He ended up having 7-9 so I picked up a nice pot.

I finally made a big bluff that didn’t end up blowing up in my face. I had 2-2 in middle position. A guy who looked like a cross between the Trinity Killer and Steve Forbes straddled. I thought he was a fairly solid player. He had made a big re-raise with 8d-9d against a guy who had Aces, so I knew he could get creative. UTG calls, and I call the $5. Everyone folds to Trinity Forbes who raises it to $20. We both call. The flop is J-4-7. Trinity Forbes bets $25, the UTG folds, and I call, hoping to make a move at a later point. The turn is a 9. Trinity Forbes bets $50. I re-raise him $100. He thinks about it and ends up calling. I know my only way to win this is to bet big on the river. The river is a K. He checks. As calmly as possible, I push $125 out into the middle of the table. Before I have finished pushing the stack out, he has folded. I exhale deeply and mutter “Jesus Christ,” and the guy sitting next to me chuckles.

After the huge swings, I ended up a nice amount. I decided to cash out a little early and head to the buffet to call it a day.

Poker: 2/7/12

The Hammond Horseshoe currently has a drawing in their poker room. They will draw the number of a table and then deal out cards to see who has the highest card at that table. I got dealt the Ace of Spades (right after the guy next to me called “ACE OF SPADES!” and then bragged about his intuition for the next 3 minutes). I was so caught up in the action that I didn’t even know what I had won. It ended up being a seat in a $1100 Heads-up, No Limit Hold em tournament on February 28th. My first thought was, “Holy crap, I am in over my head.” After getting congratulated and filling out the required paperwork, I settled back into poker. During a break, I also bought Collin Moshman’s book on heads-up poker on Amazon. We’ll see if it helps. I’m so excited to play in this tournament. My only goals are to not embarrass myself at any point and to win 1 match. If I just hit those 2, I’ll finish happy.

A guy who looks like a fatter version of Vin Diesel keeps talking about how rough it is to date 2 women in 2 different cities. One of the women was an ex-model. No one questions the validity of these statements.

My dumb move of the day involved this old man who loved to chase flush draws. I’m in BB with A-6. The old man is in middle position and limps in. 1 other person limps in and I check. The flop comes A-6-2, with 2 diamonds. I check my top 2 pair and the old man raises $15. The other limper calls and I re-raise $75, leaving me with $80 left to bet. The old man instantly calls my gigantic bet and the other guy folds. The turn is the 3d. I shove all in hoping I can push him out of the pot but knowing I probably can’t. He calls and has Ad-5d. I don’t hit my miracle A or 6 on the river and I’m down $200 in 2 hours. My initial re-raise on the flop didn’t work and I was too pot committed to fold to the flush I knew he had. It was a dumb move on my part that set me back.

Really old guys are the hardest opponents to read at that table. I don’t know where their poker skill ends and their dementia begins. One minute you’re waiting on them to wake up so they can fold, and the next minute they’re re-raising you on the river. Old people scare me at the table. But I can’t wait to pull the exact same tricks in 50 years.

I worked hard after that loss to get my stack back. I was more disciplined because I knew if I did something like that again, my afternoon would be over and I’d have to go home. I ended the session barely up, but it felt like a major victory for me after that initial setback.

Poker: 1/31/12

One of my opponents at the table today was an affable gay guy with a big gap-toothed smile. I’ve seen him around before and he always seems to have a healthy stack of chips in front of him. He was laughing and chatting up all the players at the table. He also smoked a cigarette exactly like the guy from 8 Mile who covers Eminem’s shift when he goes to rap in the final scene.

I had Ah-9h in big blind. 8 Mile is in medium position and raises to $10. 3 people call before me. I call so we’re 5 handed to the flop. The flop is 10-J-4, with 2 hearts. I check to 8 Mile who raise to $15. 1 other person calls and I call. Turn is 8h, which gives me best hand at the moment (the “nuts”). I check and the other 2 guys check. I was hoping to re-raise but neither of them took the bait. The river card is Kd, so I still have the best hand. I bet $30. 8 Mile thinks about it and then says, “I’ll pay you for your flush.” The 3rd guy folds. This is an ego-saving maneuver on 8 Mile’s part. He can make it look like to the table that he’s correct while betting incorrectly. If he truly believed I had the flush, he would’ve folded. I say “Thank you.” and show him my flush.

There was also a 20 something white guy in a hoodie and glasses at the table. He was notable because he was reading Psychology: The Science of Mind and Behavior at the table. (Buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Science-Behavior-Michael-Passer/dp/0073382760/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1328920702&sr=8-6) I’m sure that’s a great book to read to make you a better poker player. But at the table, it’s a big distraction to you and costs you money. Every time he would perk up from his book, we knew he had a big hand and would fold. He would grumble and go back to reading. He eventually had to go all in because he was so low in chips. He lost, took his book, and left.

I finished up for the session so my ride home was pleasant.

Approach to the table

I work Thursday to Monday, so my days off are Tuesday and Wednesday. There’s no one really to hang out with during the day so, if I have money to play with, I’ll go to the casino. I love playing Omaha and Omaha H/L, but there’s never a table playing with low enough stakes for me to play comfortably. I usually stick to $1/$2 No Limit Holdem when I go. That’s the great thing about working Th-M. Everywhere you go, you don’t have to wait. There’s no wait at Chipotle, the dry cleaners, or in the poker room at the Horseshoe. You just step on up, put your jacket and iPhone down to claim your seat, and go to the chip cage to exchange your cash for chips to play with.

The minimum to sit down with at $1/$2 NLH is $50 and the maximum is $200. Never sit down with just the minimum. Your chips are your ammo in this “war,” so why not bring as much firepower to the table as you can? If you sit down with the minimum $50, and luck into hitting a monster hand like 4 of a kind, you’re only gonna get paid off on what you can put into the pot. Plus, most of the time, you will be pushed around by bigger stacks. You’ll always see 1 guy who constantly buys in for $50 at a time, but for 6 or 7 times! If you have the money to play with, why not put all you can on the table at once? It makes no sense and it screams to other players, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!”

I always bring $400 if I’m going to play $1/$2 NLH. $200 for my initial buy in and $200 to re-buy if I screw up and make a horrible play (which happens more often than not). And if I bust out twice and lose my $400, I’m done for the day and hit the buffet or take the shuttle back home.

Why I’m blogging

Hey guys,

I wanted to start blogging again and make a better commitment to writing than my last blog, NoMoreCarnivore. That, along with my brief flirtation with vegetarianism, ended in 10 days. I’m hoping this blog will have a longer lifespan than that. Two of my biggest interests are poker and basketball so I thought I’d combine them into one pithy read.

I want to start blogging about my poker playing because I find the people I run into at the tables very interesting. My hope is this blog will be less about the actual hands and more about the actual players.

As for basketball, I play pickup basketball at a local gym in Chicago. I think a lot of the people and what goes on there can be really funny so I thought I’d share my experiences as an average basketball player.

I’d love and and all feedback so I could fine-tune this into a half-decent blog. Let me know what you think!

Like,

Bloxson